The Abyss and Character….

Let me quote a friend…. "when a man stares into the abyss and there is nothing looking back..........that is when he finds his true character.”

I found this so profound… dear friend I hope you find your true Character soon!

I looked into the abyss that I called my life back in Nov 2004. I found a void so big it scared me almost to death… literally. For the past several weeks, several things have happened to make me revisit that place once again and what I found this time was radically different.

In 2004 I had no sense of who I really was, my identity depended on if I was accepted by or wanted by people or persons. I had suffered much rejection in my life… most of it my own creation. The things in this world are temporal and people, places and things will let you down at some point. The sad truth is I let myself down more than anyone or anything else. I looked into the abyss and saw nothing looking back… because I was looking for something that did not really exist… the me I thought I was.

When I accepted everything up to that point had been a pointless illusion in that moment HE spoke and showed who I really was… HIS CHILD!

When I look back today this is what I see…I am accepted in the beloved, without reservation. I have nothing to prove… no one to con. I do not have to sell my soul to get, I gain it back instead. I am a daughter of the KING OF KINGS… my LORD and SAVIOR died for me while I was yet a sinner. No question about it… all I have to do each day is accept it.

My life is far from storybook perfect at the moment… the enemy still wishes to tamper with my family, my friends and me. I have troubles just like everyone else… no better or worse than the next, they are what they are. I am fighting battles I had no clue 5 years ago I would be fighting and battles that would have destroyed the illusion I was in the past. The difference is those battles no longer include me fighting me or GOD, because I know who the enemy is and it is not me or Father GOD!

I am a warrior and I have battles to fight for the Kingdom... the abyss does not scare me anymore, when I look in there I find my true character staring back at me… JESUS CHRIST!