I started this blog on the morning of 01/14/2026. I stopped midway through as I felt GOD had more to say to me before I finished it…. GOD got jokes and that evening my Campus Pastor preached what I wrote and a whole lot more that took me to a place of introspection that I had been asking GOD to take me….whew I wonder sometimes why I ask for these things! I started not to finish or post this as I worried what others may think. BUT GOD, has whispered in my ear and spirit over the last 2 days that my time of hiding really is over and I must be brave enough to keep on the path HE has me on! I posted these verses on the corkboard over my desk on 9/29/2025….
I knew then something was different, but it wasn’t until Jan 7th that I realized the date. What most don’t realize is that 14 years prior on 09/29/2011 I was widowed. At the time I thought my life had ended as well and walked away from GOD & church for 3 years. So needless to say, I am researching 14 and its biblical significance! SQUIRREL( sorry this a family que we holler when we get off track😂 I am sure they use it on me most!)… I stray from the heart of this blog, so let’s get back on track...
I have for years tried not to engage with the New Year New
whatever hype for years. But at the end
of last year, I felt it… starting in Oct/Nov I just felt that 2026 was going to
be different. Despite my current health
issues that currently have me at almost a complete stand still and not seeing
what is next… it just felt different. Now here we are 14 days into the new
year, and I can’t even begin to explain how much in me that has changed. How
much change I have seen in those around me. I feel like there is a major shift
for me, my house and others around me coming. For me personally, I feel that I
am being called to a higher level of righteousness. We often give lip service
to righteousness, but in our hearts and minds where no one can see… we allow
doubt, resentments and ungodly thoughts run the show. I feel that GOD is asking
me to prepare for something I can not yet see… the ultimate ask of a control
freak. I have been here enough times in my life to know that IF I just submit
to the leading of HS it will turn out for the best. But that part of me that
wants to know the who what and when of everything still strives for
control. Do we not all struggle from
time to time with these pesky beasts, maybe it is just me. So here I sit, 14
days into a new year that feels SO different than anything I have felt in
YEARS! I wake up excited to see what the day will bring, what new revelations
GOD will reveal, and I go to sleep each night excited to rest so I can wake up
and go again! For me and the struggles I
have had with my health over the last 5 years TRULY this feeling is new and SO
refreshing! I am not sure if this pull to a higher level is part of the shift
in my thoughts and feelings or the other way around. or just a combination of both.
I try not to allow feelings much say in my life and especially now… feelings
are what they are, a reaction to something or someone etc. I have found in the past
that most of the time they are VERY unreliable. But I have to admit this buzz
of excitement is just something different.
So here I am after 2 days of introspection specifically in regard to what I wrote Wednesday morning and
then what my campus Pastor preached that same evening…. Here are a few things
GOD has really highlighted to me.
1. I am being called to a different level of faith,
obedience and righteousness. Not some outward show of it but in my heart and in
the secret place with HIM. Not for me but for those that I will encounter down
the road.
2. As Pastor H said, I must understand that “faith
moves before understanding catches up.”
I may not understand who, what and when, but I know and trust HIM!
3. This season of “stillness” and health issues I currently
find myself in is NOT punishment. HE is using this time to redeem and refine me.
I must be patient in the process (if you know me y’all know I am not as patient
as I need to be 😓).
4. What is coming is WAY beyond my understanding,
but HE will use it not for my glory or reward but for HIS glory and to redeem
those that are walking the painful paths I have walked and HE has/is redeeming
me from.
5. To quote my Campus Pastor again, “What worked over
there, won’t work here.” I realized in
October we were entering a new season and whew, everything I have heard and
seen from podcasts, live feeds and from my local leaderships has confirmed it repeatedly
in stereo as they used to say way back in the day!
Jeremiah 17:7-8 (NIV)
