Stop Addressing Your Identity with the devil

     This blog post will be a long read but may it be worth your time. It is about how G O D finally got my attention recently and showed me the timeline of how the enemy caught me in a weakened condition and almost took me out with his IFs!!!

    A little background: In June of 2019 I started a journal to record what I and another person from our congregation was hearing from GOD. Over the next few months, I heard a few things that I really believe were from GOD. During this time, I also left my full time job, with my husband’s blessings (after we had just bought a house a few months prior) to begin working part time at our main church campus. I was excited that I could start to focus more on prayer and the directions I felt GOD was leading me. BUT right before the end of the year, it was obvious that I was losing focus, I was just TIRED! I had a lot of pain in my body, and I had true brain fog more days than I wanted to admit to. By the time 2020 started I was barely making it thru on the days I had to leave the house and work. Did I pray about it, well yes!  But what I did more than pray was to begin to question whether I had even heard God correctly when I shifted my entire direction in June of 2019, the same month I bought the journal, gave my notice to my full time employer, and accepted a part time job at our main campus. I began to question in my heart but tried to defend with my mouth why I wasn’t progressing as I felt I should, why I didn’t feel good most days and why I was just miserable in a way I could not explain. By Feb of 2020 I was done, I stopped journaling in the above mentioned journal, I had decided I was not working where I was supposed to be working and I was just ready to sit for a minute and rethink life. My last day of work was March 12, 2020. Funny thing was the next week the entire country shutdown, so I really felt justified in my heart that I made the right choice to sit down and get still, because with all that was going on around me, I must have heard right this time (please accept when I tell you I was truly rolling my eyes at myself as I typed that last sentence).  Funny how we just like Adam (remember his statement... it was that woman) will try to justify anything once we have allowed the IFs of the enemy into our life.

     The title of this blog to some believers may seem to be a silly statement until you realize that we as believers do it all the time. In Matthew 4:3 the devil comes at Jesus with these words, “Now when the tempter came to Him, he said, “If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread.” Jesus was at 40 days in the desert and probably HUNGRY! Notice how the devil phrases it, IF YOU ARE, y’all the enemy knew who Jesus was!!!  He was just trying to drop doubt into Christ’s mind about His identity.  Notice he was using the same ole trick that he tripped Eve up with… doubt. As believers we often allow the enemy to do the same to us. Don’t believe me? Why do we explain who we are to the enemy, often screaming I am a child of God when he comes at us? He already knows who we are, that is why he comes at us. We address our identify with people around us and even to ourselves as well.  We question, let me speak for just me… I have questioned OFTEN who I am and why in the world GOD would want me to represent HIM on this earth.  I have often IF’d about if Christ really meant that I had the same power within me to do here on earth what HE did? Come on now is that really possible??? Seriously???  But make no mistake about it y’all, HE wants us to do exactly that, it is clearly written in His word over and over again.  We as the church body for the most part have missed it when it comes to our complete identity.  Y’all signs and wonders are not only for the Preachers, Pastors, Revivalist, or even the latest & greatest Healer on tour to operate in.  The same Holy Spirit that is in them is in us!!!  Yet we (me) have spent most of our time addressing our identity with the enemy and his little minions! They have totally enjoyed keeping us locked up (operating) in fear, doubt, and unbelief and not in what God has given us.

    During most of 2020 I just sat…. I was a mindless blob, who could not think very clearly, didn’t feel good physically and it got worse and worse as the year went on. I had 1,000 excuses for why I sat down, not feeling good in general and of course that thing called Covid-19. By December 2020, I finally had a name for one of those excuses and why I was in the state I was in. The mysterious aliment that had been keeping me in a cycle of weariness, pain and confusion for several years finally revealed itself completely… Atrial Fibrillation. According to a few doctors, and nurses in my family, why I didn’t have a massive stroke or simply have my heart stop or explode in my chest is a miracle (I tell everyone now that I am THE favorite child of a GOOD GOOD DADDY). I thank GOD for the day my heart appeared to have stopped and my husband called 911. I feel strongly it was GOD allowing the physical me to get a restart so HE could get my mental and spiritual man restarted as well! I spent about 6 more months walking in fear and what IFs.  Then after a heart procedure as my physical healing progressed and my doctor uttered these simple words, “GO LIVE YOUR LIFE and quit worrying” I finally realized that I may have (did) let the enemy in my head way past what I wanted to admit to, and the truth was I made all those excuses to hide that fact from myself. I started to question my questioning. I started looking at why I felt so dry spiritually. I started to address my identity with GOD and what HE really wanted from me. I kept banging on the door of Heaven for an answer AND a few days ago I finally got a public answer to my question. 

    Now here we are… once I started asking the right questions to the right SOURCE, and I got public in the right setting about what I understood the answer to be… Holy Spirit has been a chattering away ever since!!!! Seriously though, God is probably relieved HE finally has my attention. HE has me laser focused on a few things, one of those things is a book that I bought in 2020 that has laid on my desk for over a year. I had started flipping through it a few months ago when our senior Pastor started meddling, uhm I mean teaching on a subject that is near and dear to my heart. When I got home after the service I got public and answered in (nothing speaks louder than being the first front and center at an alter call and you not realizing it til you are already up there… 😂) I decided that until I really read this book nothing else was going to distract me.  And that is when I came across this: "Jesus didn't even address the identity part of this question. Jesus knew who He was. He brought the situation right into a heavenly perspective."[1]  Y’all IT shook me to my core!!! Holy Spirit started whispering in my ear, “you were already sick in 2019 but didn’t know it.  You had heard GOD right and stepped out in faith in the right direction AND that put a target on you, but G O D knew what was coming the time was not wasted. He used it to expose and repair things you didn’t realize were killing you physically, mentally, and spiritually. The time is now being redeemed, GET BACK UP OLE GIRL!!!”  Let’s return to Matthew 4:3, The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.” There is that IF but look how Christ answers him in Matthew 4:4, Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.” Jesus did not even address, acknowledge or give the enemy a door to slither into about His identity. 

    So here I am today…  done with addressing my identity with the enemy, done explaining who I am and what I know God has called me to walk in and worrying what others think.  My question to you is, have you been addressing your identity with the RIGHT or the wrong entities?  For me I know I did for a long time, it didn’t change my salvation status, nor did it ever change what G O D had already placed in me, but it did keep me from operating in all I have inside of me. What Christ had on earth we have!!!  What the Pastors, the Evangelist, the Prophets, and Healers have we already have inside of us as believers as well. We simply must learn to no longer address our identity with the enemy… AND start addressing the issues that are in front of us from a heavenly perspective just as Christ did in the desert.

    I pray you know who you really are and walk in all the peace and power that is yours by right as a child of the Most High God! Now let me go address some things as GOD would have me to! 

Selah

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[1] Beni Johnson, The Happy Intercessor, p96

Bridges... Revival... Going Home

WHEW... after a post I made earlier I kept hearing that I needed to go back to the first post of 2011 in this blog... a year that was a hard awful road of me being widowed and losing everything including myself for a few years afterwards. Today re-reading it NINE YEARS LATER was a FULL CIRCLE  moment with G O D for this daughter.  HIS REASONS...HIS TIMING... THE LESSONS... THE COMPASSION & LOVE OF THE FATHER FOR ME!!!

HEAR ME... IF YOU DON'T READ ANYTHING BUT THIS.... I don't share this to show  how "spiritual" I am. I share this because when you get to know my story... you also get to see how FAR HE will go and HOW much HE will forgive to bring one of HIS back into the fold. To WHOMEVER is suppose to see this: Baby there is nothing you've done or will do that disqualifies you from HIS love and forgiveness!! Come on home... your FATHER  never gave up on you!


Twenty Til’ Midnight AKA Nora's Spiritual Closet: I have a picture of a beautiful bridge that is cal...: I have a picture of a beautiful bridge that is called Crossing Over it is a painting by James Nesbit. I bought the picture about two years ...

LOSS, RESTORATION AND OLD STORM DOORS

A few things over the last 2 weeks have brought me to the understanding of how quickly we forget how fortunate and blessed we are… okay let me speak for me, How BLESSED I am! A picture of my front door last week that I almost didn’t post was my wake up call for me to take a step back and reflect on how far I have come in the last 8 years and how much I truly have to be grateful for in my life. 

Eight years ago this month, I was in the middle of packing up and leaving my home of 6 ½ years. I was a widow of just over 6 mths in possible foreclosure in the middle of settling an estate that consisted of a house I could not pay for, a beat up eight-year-old car and personal belongings. No life insurance and no assurance I would even eat tomorrow if it were not for my daughter and church family taking care of me. I was an emotional and spiritual wreck and why someone had not at that point checked me in to an institution is a miracle. Now that all being said I was great at pretending on the outside most days and especially on Sunday, so I guess I did just enough to stay free! When the estate closed and the house sold, I was handed a check for $68 and thankfully still had the title to that 8 ½ year old car that looked rough but still ran, clothes that no longer fit and some furniture and nothing else. My heart and spirit were shattered, and I was mad Mad MAD at GOD and most people. I walked away from GOD, my church family gave up on life getting better and looked for the quickest path to self-destruction. In the mist of my rebellion as I willfully sought to return to my old life prior to my relationship with G O D, I thought I found the perfect way to do so in a relationship with a gentleman I had recently met. Funny thing happened though… said gentleman was also on his own rebellion walk and we had a lot of talks about that God we were running away from and how we felt let down by HIM and life. Then somewhere along the way we realized that G O D was probably above nudging Peter giggling a little at us saying, “see Pete I told you so, they are perfect for each other.” Us meeting in the mist of our pain and anger at GOD was part of the plan, HIS plan… even in our rebellion we may have given up but HE never ever gave up on us! When we really understood that, we repented took the steps to bring our lives in to alignment with God’s word and then sought HIM for what HE wanted next from us… 

Fast forward to this picture and the title of this blog… As part of a facebook group I took this picture of my Red Framed Door to post. My first thought was OH look at that old storm door, I am so ashamed of that old door and my ribbon is so plain as I am not creative, so I am not going to post it!! REALLY!!! Here I am in my own home again after almost being homeless 8 years ago. With the man I love and who loves me who I know that I know GOD has blessed me with despite my rebellion. Not only that but HE has restored me in many ways in my walk with HIM and in my life. I am in the process of starting my own business and honestly I have more now than I did 8 years ago… and all I can do is worry what someone is going to say about a old storm door on my fixer up house that we haven’t replaced yet!!! We have plans to redo the front of the house and I believe with all my heart GOD will provide the means to do that. BUT in that moment where did that shame come from and what was wrong with me that I allowed it to take hold of me??? I believe sometimes we too often forget to stop and reflect from time to time on where we were and what HE brought us through. In my case not once but multiple times in my life. I should have not made it out of childhood, yet here I am 57 years old. As a teenager and young adult, I put myself in harms way and others did their best to destroy me and despite my best efforts to end my own life on more than a few occasions… here I am. When my world fell apart in 2011 instead of turning to GOD who had already proven faithful… I turned away. But once again HE proved faithful, sheltered me, provided for, and kept me safe until HE could bring me back to my senses. That moment of shame only lasted for a moment and this picture is posted in that group… with a little story about it. But I needed to have a talking to myself and G O D about it and I am glad I learned something from it. Now if my moment of being real and raw helps someone not make the mistakes I made in the past or keeps someone for feeling shame today, then I will post the picture of that old storm door everywhere…. Because what it really represents is RESTORATION!

"The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the former part." Job 42:12a

Get Your Boots On Time to Crossover!!

Then Joshua said to the sons of Israel, “Come here, and hear the words of the Lord your God.” 10 Joshua said, “By this you shall know that the living God is among you, and that He will assuredly dispossess from before you the Canaanite, the Hittite, the Hivite, the Perizzite, the Girgashite, the Amorite, and the Jebusite. 11 Behold, the ark of the covenant of the Lord of all the earth is crossing over ahead of you into the Jordan. 12 Now then, take for yourselves twelve men from the tribes of Israel, one man for each tribe. 13 It shall come about when the soles of the feet of the priests who carry the ark of the Lord, the Lord of all the earth, rest in the waters of the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan will be cut off, and the waters which are flowing down from above will stand in one heap.” 14 So when the people set out from their tents to cross the Jordan with the priests carrying the ark of the covenant before the people, 15 and when those who carried the ark came into the Jordan, and the feet of the priests carrying the ark were dipped in the edge of the water (for the Jordan overflows all its banks all the days of harvest), 16 the waters which were flowing down from above stood and rose up in one heap, a great distance away at Adam, the city that is beside Zarethan; and those which were flowing down toward the sea of the Arabah, the Salt Sea, were completely cut off. So the people crossed opposite Jericho. 17 And the priests who carried the ark of the covenant of the Lord stood firm on dry ground in the middle of the Jordan while all Israel crossed on dry ground, until all the nation had finished crossing the Jordan.  Joshua 3:9-17

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light;  1 Peter 2:9

First and foremost there is a promise to us from GOD that HE would deal with all the “ites” for us… and that includes “Covid-19 ite” we just need to walk in that promise and stop this panic of unbelief!!! We as Believers should be on the front line… in the parking lots of hospitals praying with family who can’t enter the building to be with their loved ones. Making sure ALL elderly and others in our community who we are aware of have the basic necessities; checking on those whom we know suffer from depression or anxiety and may need that extra 10 minutes of our time and wherever else we may be needed. We are the Priest of our time and we need to start acting like it! They were first into the flooded river… they held their ground the middle of that river (the GAP) until the ENTIRE nation… the ENTIRE nation of Israel crossed over! Do you really understand how many people that had have been? They had been wandering around in the desert for 40 years… how many do you think they added to the numbers? AND THEN and only once everyone else was on the other side did they, still carrying Ark of the Covenant come up behind them into the Promise Land. And as always, the people were covered all round by the presence of GOD. We now carry that PRESENCE in us as believers so whenever we STEP into a situation, we bring HIM with us… think on that for a minute.  We the so-called believers/intercessors of this generation need to be praying and praying without ceasing until we are on the other side of this.  We also need to shut up any prayers that start with judgement.... God did not have Joshua appoint morality police who screened who would get across the Jordan and who would not… GOD dealt with the last generation of Israelites harshly but this generation was allowed AS A WHOLE to come into the promise land… warts and all!!! We need to shut our mouths, set our agendas aside and simply get on our knees and seek God’s face until this thing is gone. We also need to show love and be known by the TRUE fruit the REAL SPIRIT of GOD will produce. WE… THE CHURCH needs to strap on our work boots and get about the business of our FATHER!!

Do You Burn?

I love being the person who tends the fire whether it for cleaning up the yard, sitting at a campsite or even at a firepit. I am not sure if it is a control thing or if I just find such clarity in looking into the flames. Fire can be beautiful or horrifying to watch depending on what side of the flame you are on. Fire can purify or destroy. Fire can bring warmth to a cold body or destruction and pain if you get to close to it. Metaphorically speaking people and wood are a lot alike. Some wood catches and burns red hot for a minute and then flutters away as ash in the wind. Some wood gets warm and even shows some signs of being in a fire but doesn’t actually catch because it is too hard at its core or to soaked in other things to burn. But then some wood was meant for burning… it will catch with proper tending… it will burn and maintain a nice HOT steady temperature and then turn into the perfect fuel that can be used to start other wood burning. In this picture there were all 3 types of wood. I pulled a piece of that “wouldn’t” burn wood out to show that while it had been in the fire the same about of time as all the rest it appears almost completely untouched because it was too hard to burn. The red hot quick catch wood turned to ash and flew away in a matter of minutes on the wind. What you don’t actually “see” however is a section of wood that I used to get the back side of my fire to finally catch… it was a 12-16-inch piece of wood that had turned into the perfect starter piece that I gently moved to the back area that had not caught yet and placed it there with a few pieces of the red hot quick wood… and BAM a roaring fire took hold. DID you catch that…. Even that flighty red hot burn and gone wood had its place in my fire pile. Fire is a very important creature, but it must be nurtured, maintained and understood. And then after you have set the boundaries of the fire pit there is a time of standing back and letting it have its way as it completes its task. My question to you today is do you have a fire of any kind burning in you? If so what kind of fire is it? Is it a useful or dangerous fire? As for me… let me be real clear…. If the fire in me is not from GOD… I don’t need it and I DON’T WANT IT. I must be vigilant in monitoring what goes in my fire pile and vigilant in allowing Holy Spirit to tend it. I must be vigilant in who I allow in my life as well as what I allow in my mind and spirit. So once again I ask you, what fire is burning in you and who is tending it?

Welcome to My Closet God

Psalms 37:5

Give God the right to direct your life,
and as you trust him along the way
you’ll find he pulled it off perfectly!

TPT

Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in Him, and He will act, 

HCSB

Commit your way to the Lord,
Trust also in Him, and He will do it.

NASB

Open up before God, keep nothing back;
    he’ll do whatever needs to be done:

The Message Bible

As I get ready to close one season in my life and step into the next, I read a verse this morning in my devotion and was like yes Lord have Your way with me and do what needs to be done. Then that still small VOICE said, “Really? Are you ready for another round of Me cleaning out your closet again my girl? IF so, then why in the past has it been so hard for you to release things that needed letting go of, ways that needed changing, and on and on… you get the message.”  And of course, that other part of me was hollering loudly… “NO NO NO, keep His meddling ways out of my stuff I like my raggedy stuff tucked in the back.” Yes, y’all these conversations really do go on between me (flesh), G O D and my spirit. LOL

 When we commit, open up completely, give God the right to all of our stuff it sounds so good on paper and it sounds so good at the alter or in a group when we say we are ready… but the reality is that it is MESSY and it HURTS! Did I mention it is MESSY and it HURTS? I speak for myself here but every time I have truly opened up and held nothing back, not that HE didn’t already know I mean like HE is God y’all! But when I really submitted and let Him do what needed to be done, it was not always a pleasant experience. Now was the peace in my spirit real when I reached that point, YES. Was my flesh and my mind in total rebellion at the idea of giving up the right to be right and in charge of whatever area God was focusing on, OH MY GOODNESS YES!  But looking back I can truly say that each and every time and with each and every thing that I have fully submitted, committed, trusted to Him… He did what needed to be done and it was ALWAYS perfectly handled.

I will say this again, I am only speaking for myself here, but I think we need to quit giving the illusion that the daily Christian walk is always Sunshine and Rainbows. There is work involved. But on the other hand, I also hate when I see “Christians” give the impression they must work their way into Heaven and make our walk with Christ seem like a hardship and more like slavery. 

Let me share what I understand the message to be, He, Christ died for us. We who truly confess and believe are forgiven. There is baptism and there are gifts we are entitled to as well. We will have tribulations, but we will also have great joy in getting to know our Savior.  We will all walk through a process of letting go of the old, for some it will happen sooner for some it will take a little longer. We are all different and HE made us that way and our brothers and sisters in Christ should and will come along side of us to help as we walk it out together.  We all have a purpose and there is a plan for EACH and EVERY person on the face of this earth… never let anyone or the enemy tell you any different. YOU MATTER TO GOD AND FOR THE RECORD YOU MATTER TO ME!!! 

So what started out as a haha at myself for allowing G O D in my closet again has turned into this. BUT if letting HIM dig out stuff from my closet publicly helps anyone be willing to let HIM in theirs and gives them peace… welcome to my closet!

GET BACK UP

I just spent last night and all day soaking in the wonderful words of women of God as part of #ifgathering2019 I attended a local gathering last night and today alone online.

A verse that was shared at the close of this sealed what God has been trying put on my heart over and over the last 2 years… that He still has a plan for me, I have a calling and He intends for me to help others. My fear and feelings of not being good enough have strangled me…. BUT NO MORE.  For those that may read this that don’t know me well I need to give you a little background… I failed in 2012 in my hurt and pain of widowhood, I turned my back on God and yet He continued to pursue me at every turn… in 2015 He called me back to His side and I finally submitted my heart, mind and soul to Him.   Since then He has allowed me to step back into things that are my calling and destiny, that I thought I would never be qualified to do again because of my failure. He has once again provided favor over me in that people trust me in a very supernatural way.  I have sat in wonder and fear of this return of favor.  Wonder that He trust me and fear that man will learn of my failure in 2012 and turn away from me. Now back to the last 24 hours of listening to the speakers at If Gathering.  I was having a brief conversation about this very subject with some ladies I met last night when the question was asked of us what we wanted to leave behind at this event and my answer was the feeling of not being good enough.   I was honest and honestly the initial reaction was that look, you know the look, “OH MY GOODNESS, well bless your heart” (if you are not from the south that is not meant as a compliment nor is the look that implies it.). I immediately felt me fear of not being good of enough validated.  I almost lost my nerve and wanted to get up and run out, but God just whispered in my ear to hold my place. As the evening went on and we shared more, their perception of me changed. I believe that someone in that little group needed to hear my story.  My fear has stopped me from reaching out, praying for and simply opening up to people outside of my trusted circle. I serve regularly at the church I attend and will do whatever is needed.  I believe up until now I was trying to work my way back into God’s good graces… but after today I realize what I do from here on out will be for the simple pleasure of serving the Lord of Lords whose grace allowed me to get back up!

 About that verse I heard…

“Though a righteous man falls seven times,
he will get up,
but the wicked will stumble into ruin.” Proverbs 24:16

A righteous man/woman will get back up… the wicked will not. I am a daughter of the King of Kings, so watch me as I get back up, dust off my Crown and get about my Father’s business!  And darling if you have fallen know He loves you the same nothing has or will change that and … GET BACK UP!!!!!!