Welcome to My Closet God

Psalms 37:5

Give God the right to direct your life,
and as you trust him along the way
you’ll find he pulled it off perfectly!

TPT

Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in Him, and He will act, 

HCSB

Commit your way to the Lord,
Trust also in Him, and He will do it.

NASB

Open up before God, keep nothing back;
    he’ll do whatever needs to be done:

The Message Bible

As I get ready to close one season in my life and step into the next, I read a verse this morning in my devotion and was like yes Lord have Your way with me and do what needs to be done. Then that still small VOICE said, “Really? Are you ready for another round of Me cleaning out your closet again my girl? IF so, then why in the past has it been so hard for you to release things that needed letting go of, ways that needed changing, and on and on… you get the message.”  And of course, that other part of me was hollering loudly… “NO NO NO, keep His meddling ways out of my stuff I like my raggedy stuff tucked in the back.” Yes, y’all these conversations really do go on between me (flesh), G O D and my spirit. LOL

 When we commit, open up completely, give God the right to all of our stuff it sounds so good on paper and it sounds so good at the alter or in a group when we say we are ready… but the reality is that it is MESSY and it HURTS! Did I mention it is MESSY and it HURTS? I speak for myself here but every time I have truly opened up and held nothing back, not that HE didn’t already know I mean like HE is God y’all! But when I really submitted and let Him do what needed to be done, it was not always a pleasant experience. Now was the peace in my spirit real when I reached that point, YES. Was my flesh and my mind in total rebellion at the idea of giving up the right to be right and in charge of whatever area God was focusing on, OH MY GOODNESS YES!  But looking back I can truly say that each and every time and with each and every thing that I have fully submitted, committed, trusted to Him… He did what needed to be done and it was ALWAYS perfectly handled.

I will say this again, I am only speaking for myself here, but I think we need to quit giving the illusion that the daily Christian walk is always Sunshine and Rainbows. There is work involved. But on the other hand, I also hate when I see “Christians” give the impression they must work their way into Heaven and make our walk with Christ seem like a hardship and more like slavery. 

Let me share what I understand the message to be, He, Christ died for us. We who truly confess and believe are forgiven. There is baptism and there are gifts we are entitled to as well. We will have tribulations, but we will also have great joy in getting to know our Savior.  We will all walk through a process of letting go of the old, for some it will happen sooner for some it will take a little longer. We are all different and HE made us that way and our brothers and sisters in Christ should and will come along side of us to help as we walk it out together.  We all have a purpose and there is a plan for EACH and EVERY person on the face of this earth… never let anyone or the enemy tell you any different. YOU MATTER TO GOD AND FOR THE RECORD YOU MATTER TO ME!!! 

So what started out as a haha at myself for allowing G O D in my closet again has turned into this. BUT if letting HIM dig out stuff from my closet publicly helps anyone be willing to let HIM in theirs and gives them peace… welcome to my closet!

GET BACK UP

I just spent last night and all day soaking in the wonderful words of women of God as part of #ifgathering2019 I attended a local gathering last night and today alone online.

A verse that was shared at the close of this sealed what God has been trying put on my heart over and over the last 2 years… that He still has a plan for me, I have a calling and He intends for me to help others. My fear and feelings of not being good enough have strangled me…. BUT NO MORE.  For those that may read this that don’t know me well I need to give you a little background… I failed in 2012 in my hurt and pain of widowhood, I turned my back on God and yet He continued to pursue me at every turn… in 2015 He called me back to His side and I finally submitted my heart, mind and soul to Him.   Since then He has allowed me to step back into things that are my calling and destiny, that I thought I would never be qualified to do again because of my failure. He has once again provided favor over me in that people trust me in a very supernatural way.  I have sat in wonder and fear of this return of favor.  Wonder that He trust me and fear that man will learn of my failure in 2012 and turn away from me. Now back to the last 24 hours of listening to the speakers at If Gathering.  I was having a brief conversation about this very subject with some ladies I met last night when the question was asked of us what we wanted to leave behind at this event and my answer was the feeling of not being good enough.   I was honest and honestly the initial reaction was that look, you know the look, “OH MY GOODNESS, well bless your heart” (if you are not from the south that is not meant as a compliment nor is the look that implies it.). I immediately felt me fear of not being good of enough validated.  I almost lost my nerve and wanted to get up and run out, but God just whispered in my ear to hold my place. As the evening went on and we shared more, their perception of me changed. I believe that someone in that little group needed to hear my story.  My fear has stopped me from reaching out, praying for and simply opening up to people outside of my trusted circle. I serve regularly at the church I attend and will do whatever is needed.  I believe up until now I was trying to work my way back into God’s good graces… but after today I realize what I do from here on out will be for the simple pleasure of serving the Lord of Lords whose grace allowed me to get back up!

 About that verse I heard…

“Though a righteous man falls seven times,
he will get up,
but the wicked will stumble into ruin.” Proverbs 24:16

A righteous man/woman will get back up… the wicked will not. I am a daughter of the King of Kings, so watch me as I get back up, dust off my Crown and get about my Father’s business!  And darling if you have fallen know He loves you the same nothing has or will change that and … GET BACK UP!!!!!!