Then, Now and Forever…

There are certain dates in life that will have us looking back to who we were, what we were going through at a given moment or time and reminding us of memories of a time gone by; September 29^th is one of dates for me. Today, September 29, 2021, is the 10^th anniversary of when I was widowed at the age of 48 years and at the time, I truly believed my entire life had come to end when his life on earth ended. I was an angry bitter grieving mess and totally undone. Then in a years’ time (September 2011-2012) I lost a husband, my home and most of my physical possessions and the anger and grief seemed to grow.  But I realized that what I lost 10 years ago that almost did me in was my hope in God, myself and for my future. My life as I thought it was going to be came crashing down around me and I lost myself to the pain, my anger at God, myself and those who abandoned me when I needed them the most.  It was a hard lesson to learn that what “I thought” was the plan for my life, was not the plan HE had for me.  

 Looking back, I realize I learned life changing lessons about people, myself and especially GOD during that time. Those lessons have made me the person I am today. Not to brag (okay maybe just a little) but I love who I am today, and I hear from my children and others I am the best me I have ever been. I can now acknowledge without angst and gnashing of teeth at G O D, the person I am today is a result of living through the tough times as well as the good times in my life. I truly understand in ways not possible 10 years ago the promise in Romans 8:28, “And we know that ALL things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” As believers we often don’t want to take off our rose colored glasses and see what that ALL really does means… the good, the bad and the ugly we may experience during our time here on earth. Truth is I love GOD with all of me and HE loves me… but life is still tough at times, and I no longer ascribe to the fairy tale version of Christianity I used to. We live in a fallen world which means there will be things that we don’t want to experience but will. There will be people who leave us, hurt us, and even revile us. There will be pain, and possibly sickness in those we love or ourselves at time as well.  Life will happen as it will continue to as long as we walk upon this earth and there will be days where we will feel as if that ALL in our life looks like a disaster and there is no hope. Does that mean we can’t live victorious lives… NO!!! But victorious some days may look like we barely got by, and we must learn that ALL means ALL and some of that ALL will hurt. Life is not always sunshine and popsicles but when we embrace that ALL we will learn to lean on the only ONE who loves us just as we are. Then we can and will become the person we can love as well and who HE always intended us to be. I mentioned earlier about lessons I have learned in the last 10 year and wanted to share my top 8. There were MANY more lessons I have learned over these years, but some were just for me and me alone to evaluate.

 1)      Even when all hell is breaking loose in your life, and you can’t feel HIM… GOD will never leave you. Stop living life based on just your feelings… they lie at times.

2)      Stop allowing your self-worth and reason for being get tied up with people. People will leave you through death or other ways.  Tomorrow is not promised.

3)      Don’t let what the “theys” may or not think of you crush your spirit.  You were created by and are loved by GOD let that be your guide on how you think of you!

4)      Just because the promises of God did not happen in your life the way you “thought” HE should have fulfilled them does not mean they are not going to happen. First check yourself and discern what were true promises from G O D, what was wishful thinking on your part, or was a “word” spoken out of someone’s flesh to you. Then start seeking HIS face for the when and how HE wants to fulfill those promises… I promise HE really does want to see you walk in all HE has for you!!!

5)      Repeat after me, we live in a fallen world and bad things WILL happen, but GOD will use it and redeem all... “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done…” (Gen 50:20)

6)      Walk everyday thankful for the people and the things you have TODAY… tomorrow is not promised, things can still happen to the people we love and the things we think we can’t live without…

7)      When you have lost it all, know that is a beginning not an ending... GOD will show out every time if we will only look around for whatever the “it” is you need in your life!

8)      At the end of the day... it is not always about us; sometimes we are just a part of someone else’s story and if we are willing to see how we can use our pain to help someone through theirs... then we all win!

My today is so so so much more than I could have seen 10 years ago… GOD redeemed and restored all I lost back then. I am the very loved and pampered wife of a Godly man; I have a wonderful home and more than enough of all those things I lost. I have grown in ways I didn’t even know back then that I needed to grow to become the woman GOD wants me to be. Now HE is using this “new” woman more and more in the greater plan HE has for my family, those around me and our area. Each day is a new opportunity for me to walk in all HE has for me and that excites me more than I ever thought it could. This date on the calendar once brought me great pain and sad memories… now it is a timely reminder for me to get up and walk out in all I have been blessed with over the last 10 years and to try and help others to see how good GOD really is.

To GOD be the Glory for all my ALL's