House Cleaning for 2009 has started... in me!

I have been on what feels like a roller coaster of emotions as issues and a horrible state of mind have taken over my life.. and some days in the last few weeks I have felt as if a I was a toddler in the Kingdom throwing a fit cause I wasn't getting it my way. What just came back to my remembrance is something I prayed recently in a prayer gathering I am blessed to be a part of in my community. It wasn't a BIG thing at the time I thought... I prayed what was on my heart and the theme was...
House cleaning... start with "us" the church / the body... yeah you know all those other folks who need it!
Then today for the first time it hit me... HE is doing just that, a little house cleaning, HE started with me AGAIN! I mean really just once can I pray a prayer and HE start with someone else first! LOL!
OH yes this self proclaimed "prayer" needs plenty of dusting and serious scrubbing... my vain little mind will run a muck without regular doses of the Word and that renewing of this beady little mind... in my case sometimes minute by minute. I would love to report I am so "spiritual" it just comes natural...NOT! What comes natural in me is to revert to old patterns and ways when I am under stress or being emotionally battered by the enemy. Then sister super spiritual in MY MIND, kicks in and says... "oh nora you can't feel this or that, you are suppose to know better" and then the battle begins in earnest for my mind, will and emotions... Then I get tired of fighting the good fight, weary of well doing and wonder if I will ever get it right... cause you know it is all about getting it right!

Then that still small voice... reminds me.... "nora... it ain't about you getting it right, Jesus already did that. All you need to do is believe in it, walk in and on the days you fail, come to ME and MY mercy, love, & strength will deal with it and help you to continue on in this walk! Sigh... I so understand some days the war that Paul speaks about in Romans...

Rom 7:19-25 NASU
19 For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want.

20 But if I am doing the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me.

21 I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good.

22 For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man,

23 but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members.

24 Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?

25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.

THIS IS WHERE MY PROBLEM BEGINS... I STOP RIGHT HERE AND WALK AROUND GOING WOE IS ME MY FLESH IS WEAK I AM NEVER GOING TO BE THE EXAMPLE I NEED TO BE, but the rest of the story is right here

Rom 8:9-10 NASU

1 Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death.

3 For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh,

4 so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

5 For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit.

6 For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace,

7 because the mind set on the flesh is hostile toward God; for it does not subject itself to the law of God, for it is not even able to do so,

8 and those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

9 However, you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. But if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he does not belong to Him.

10 If Christ is in you, though the body is dead because of sin, yet the spirit is alive because of righteousness.

So if I am no longer in the flesh because Christ is in me then it REALLY is time I truly believe it, live it and walk it out. I want to teach others to know who they are in Christ, I want to see the captives, young and old, set free because I so intimately understand the many bondage's satan uses against people and the unnecessary pain and suffering we endure often at our own hand.

Housecleaning started with me SO BE IT... teach me YOUR ways LORD... so that I may be the RIGHT example of YOU... simply a reflection of CHRIST!

Remembering what I know I heard...

Ps 37:25

Speedy Answer...

Opened my email first thing this morning... found the daily reading at the end of a new devotional I just signed up for this week LOL!

“You pushed me violently so that I was falling, But the LORD helped me. The LORD is my strength and song, And He has become my salvation. The sound of joyful shouting and salvation is in the tents of the righteous; The right hand of the LORD does valiantly. The right hand of the LORD is exalted; The right hand of the LORD does valiantly. I will not die, but live, And tell of the works of the LORD. The LORD has disciplined me severely, But He has not given me over to death. Open to me the gates of righteousness; I shall enter through them, I shall give thanks to the LORD. This is the gate of the LORD; The righteous will enter through it. I shall give thanks to You, for You have answered me, And You have become my salvation. The stone which the builders rejected Has become the chief corner stone. This is the LORD'S doing; It is marvelous in our eyes. This is the day which the LORD has made; Let us rejoice and be glad in it. O LORD, do save, we beseech You; O LORD, we beseech You, do send prosperity! Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the LORD; We have blessed you from the house of the LORD. The LORD is God, and He has given us light; Bind the festival sacrifice with cords to the horns of the altar. You are my God, and I give thanks to You; You are my God, I extol You. Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; For His lovingkindness is everlasting.”
Ps 118:13-29 NASU

Oh that I knew...

I am in a funny place, no I am in an uncomfortable place. Are the circumstances in my life not changing because I lack faith or is it for reasons I can't see or understand. I am weary of well doing, declaring and standing on the promises .... all those things we as believers are taught to believe & do. I have been standing for more than a minute or two and yet things seem to be getting worse and not better... my finances are in a mess, that happens when more is going out than coming in. My home is under attack on several fronts it feels like on some days and to be honest I feel like just running away. But my spirit cries out that I am to wait.... the night will not last forever. I know my God can and will deliver me from all that oppresses me and my house at the moment. But in the mean time where do I voice my discontent and concern... am I speaking without faith if I say I am tired of this turmoil and pain? A dear and wonderful friend says we must speak from Victory... I agree! But what do we do with the pain and the doubt that all of us feel at times... we are all human and we have human emotions.... is God displeased with us if we are just honest about where we are and it isn't from victory we are speaking from or is HE displeased with the dishonesty of us saying / declaring all the "right" things with our mouth but our heart is saying other things when no one is listening... do we do others in the body of Christ a disservice when we aren't honest that even us "warriors' of faith have moments of discouragement and weariness... where is the line between faith and failure and who decides? I know that I know this season in my life is temporary, everything not of God is temporary... but the feelings and emotions are real in this moment! My Prayer today Father I give it all to You... I would ask for a quick and speedy answer, but never the less I will still be here tomorrow and the next day crying out from this dark place for even in my doubt and lack I know that nothing compares to YOU! In Jesus Name Amen

"Oh that I knew where I might find Him, That I might come to His seat!" Job 23:3

The Beginning...

I am a blogger in hiding who has finally decided to share all the wonderful & crazy thoughts about me and my walk with God, that I call my life! My biggest hope is that at the end of the day if one person reads this blog and develops a desire to know my LORD and SAVIOR JESUS then I have accomplished the most important thing in my life! Please fasten your seat belts or straight jackets... Both may be required if you hang around here to much! LOL!